Be sure of what you want :)

As women, we are conditioned to always want to be what men want.
We watch movies, read magazines and novels, hear  music and encounter people that continuously tell us that we have to have a man to make us complete. The question that follows is usually, how do we get this man, what do we have to be, do and look like?

The media tells us all these things that men want but is any of it true? They say men like women who are mysterious, have a nice body, are hard to get, a lady in the street but a freak in the bed, beautiful, good at this, wear this and dont wear that, the list is endless! Can any woman ever be all these things? Are we even supposed to?

The answer is absolutely not. We are asking the wrong questions here. It doesn't matter to you what a man wants, what matters is what do YOU want. I often dated men without even asking myself this question. I would enter relationships not knowing what kind of man, relationship, treatment and result i wanted! What was I doing you might ask?

Well I was busy trying to be the kind of woman the man wanted. The problem with this is that I didn't even know if that man was the kind of man I would want. Often times, he wasn't and I would find myself trying to either compromise or change him to be who i wanted and it ALWAYS failed. Why? Because once I started trying to change him, I ceased to be what he wanted! Do you see how twisted it all is?

Before even considering dating, you have to know what you want in :

1. The MAN
The answer to this question should never be a physical attribute of the person, ie, it shouldn't be his appearance, financial status, and so forth. The character is what you should establish. Things such as honesty, presence, reliability and reverence for God.

2. The RELATIONSHIP
Do you seek a one on one relationship or multi-partner? Secretive or public? 12 years in the girlfriend-zone or marriage?

3. The TREATMENT
Establish whether or not you can tolerate certain types of treatment from your future partner. Are you okay with being cheated on or slapped every so often? Do you mind getting a call once a week or messages that get responded days later?

4. The END RESULT
What is the goal of the relationship? Are you looking for someone to chat with here and there? Someone to keep you company at school or work? Someone to build a family with? Someone to get married to? If your goal is to get married one day, you might need to leave the marriage things for marriage. Cleaning, cooking, living with and being intimate with him will not push him to marry you. As they say 'why pay for what you can download for free'.

Answering these questions will help you to narrow down the men that can or can not give you these things. It isn't difficult to tell a man's intentions during your first few conversations. Take your time, ask the right questions and be sure before you get into relationships so that you avoid unnecessary mistakes and bad decisions. <3